Sunday, 18 March 2012

The Aftermath

Head spinning, heart racing, emotions out of control
Feeling like a child again, yet through another's eyes
My madness not the only one I have to contend with
Instability, uncertainty, anger flares then dies
As if the tears I need to shed drowns it deep inside.

Fleeting memories of times long past, explode around me
My body reacts, twitching, shrinking, cowering
Nauseous I run outside, need to fill my lungs
With clean mountain air, to embrace the night, to hide
A night that once terrorised me, now become my friend.

A gentle drizzle coats my hair, now silvery, youth gone
Murdered by those that stole my life, my innocence, trust
I take a few deep breaths, think to myself I must be strong
To follow this road, to reach my destination, my goal
I must be a man, yet remember and embrace the boy I once was.

I step inside, where I should feel at home, but I feel lost
Uncomfortable, caged in, fighting an overwhelming desire, nay need
To run, and run, and run. To seek what I do not know. Me?
I calm myself, try and rmain calm. I smile and try to be "normal"
Yet inside I know, will always know, that normal died years ago.

Should I mourn that death? No! For to be able to survive, to live
We must be better than normal, stronger than average, superheroes even
In order to reach where we stand today.
We are warriors, we survived, maybe with a different view on life
We lived, we shall rise from the ashes of our painful past.

3 comments:

touched2mysoul said...

Love this....Especially when u say "normal died years ago"...And yes in many ways we must be super heroes even to go on....For the pain which it took to get thru our past Is the same pain it will take to heal our future. Thank you for sharing this...

Robert G. Longpre said...

Thank you, Jan - this is from another who was wounded by childhood abuse. I guess I have moved on to a constantly shifting "new" normal, making me more like a gypsy than a common, average Joe. I hope that you find that the best is yet to come. - Robert

Anonymous said...

WE are the new normal. And we have a right to be at peace, if not actually happy. And that's ok.
Gordette

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