This Thursdays guest blogger is Beth, her twitter account is @Hidden_Beth
These are her words.
I've never really had a childhood, I'm still only a teenager but I'm not living the life a teenager should be living, I see people my age going out enjoying themselves while I sit at home on my own wondering when this is going to end.
I've been bullied for 6 years, and its still happening now, I've been called so many names including fat and ugly, at one time I was told it would be good if I died. The bullies would throw things at me including pens and food, one time they threw a stone at my head which gave me a headache and nearly made me faint.
I'd be glad to finish school to get away from the bullies but then I'd get home to arguments and the stress my mum and dad bring home from their work. So I'd have no where to go to feel okay and safe. Because of everything going on I soon started to think about running away, I never got to actually doing it but I still think about it now.
When I was 15 I started noticing that my mood was constantly low, I couldn't be happy anymore without having to pretend, I wasn't diagnosed with depression until I was 16, but I've probably had it for over 2 years now. You may know that one of the symptoms of depression is suicidal thoughts, I first started getting these when I was 15, but they got worse over time, now I get them everyday and I've lost count how many times I've tried to act on them. While I was in school I'd think of ways I could kill myself in school, I'd take pills into school with me everyday, I'd take scissors and I knew there was a bridge and a traintrack nearby. It was sad that bullies had got me to this point. I've also been self harming since I was 15 because it seemed like the only option left to 'make me feel happy' even if it is just for a few seconds, everything seems okay for a little while.
I don't want your sympathy because of my story, I just want you to understand how much people's words can scars someone inside and out. Bullies nearly ended my life, don't let them wreck someone else's.
Every seven seconds someone in Britain is being bullied.
And I'm hoping to raise awareness of what the long term affects of bullying are by telling my story.
I suppose I can say that my past has created who I am today, its made me a nicer person because I know what its like to have people be horrible to you.
6 years I've been bullied and it still happens sometimes, and that's only when I build up the confidence to actually leave my house, but then when the bullies see me they make comments or just give me 'dirty looks', I'm used to it now because of how long its been happening but it breaks me down a little more each time.
The bullying has had massive affects on me, I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I'm a self harmer, I've think about suicide everyday and I've acted on the thoughts many times. - The UK has the highest rate of self-harm in Europe.
I've been in counselling and I'm now in therapy but nothing seems to work, it just feels like the only thing that will make me better is if I could turn back time and make everything that has happened to me not happen if that makes sense.
I'd think there was something wrong with me, and I still do but somewhere inside my mind I know there's not.
I really wish that we could just put an end to bullying altogether. People shouldn't have to put up with it, and people shouldn't have to go through what I went through.
I’ve been in therapy for over a year and I’ve not got any better, if I’m honest I seem to have become worse.
I love my therapist to bits and she’s so lovely and supportive so its not because I don’t have a therapist that ‘works for me’ maybe its just my motivation. If the bullying had stopped I suppose things would be different.
I’ve tried to recover from self harm but I’m back to my old ways again, but I’ve made a self harm blackberry messenger support group if anyone is interested in joining
I have so much support from people online, they mean the world to me and I owe them so much! They’ve been with me every step of the way.
So, join me on my journey to recovery. Its been a long lonely road so I’d like some more company
- 31% of children experienced bullying by their peers during childhood, a further 7% were discriminated against and 14% were made to feel different or 'like an outsider'. 43% experienced at least one of these things during childhood.Cawson, P. et al. (2000) Child maltreatment in the United Kingdom: a study of the prevalence of child abuse and neglect. London: NSPCC. p.26.
- Children who were abused or neglected by their parents were consistently more likely than others to experience bullying, discrimination, or being made to feel different by their peers. For example, 70% of those who were sexually abused by parents were also bullied by other children. 60% of those who were physically abused by parents, and 58% of those who experienced absence of physical care, also reported being bullied.
Cawson, P. (2002) Child maltreatment in the family: the experience of a national sample of young people. London: NSPCC. p.61-62.
- A quarter of children bullied by their peers reported that they suffered long term harmful effects lasting into adulthood.Cawson, P. et al. (2000) Child maltreatment in the United Kingdom: a study of the prevalence of child abuse and neglect. London: NSPCC. p.30